23.

I started a playlist on my 23rd birthday. I’ve continued adding songs since. I can’t figure out how to copy the dates I added them, but I can easily recall the emotions that go along with each one –  all the butterflies and tears and happy and sad that made up this past year. I’m recognizing that with each birthday I seem to have learned more in the past 12 months than the ones before. About myself and the people who surround me. About life and all the beauty it holds. About what I want and what I don’t. About what makes me wonderful and what I could probably work on. About how those imperfections and eccentricities make me the perfect fit for someone I haven’t met yet, and how those boys who weren’t right, weren’t right, but are still okay people.  How angry and upset takes way too much energy. Peace is much easier.

I really recognized the beauty in brokenness this year. That broken doesn’t have to mean sad always, and sometimes the in-between is the best place to learn – so it’s okay to be there for a little while.  Not that it was all bad – it wasn’t. There was so much good, even if a lot of the good had a few growing pains. They made it so much better. The good was so, so good. And full of life and laughter and moments I wish I could bottle up and save forever. The infinite moments, I’d say.

I learned a lot about friends this year. How unbelievably lucky I am to have some of the best. Who listen when I ramble (often), who are patient when I can’t seem to let go and who laugh with me, even those times that the laughs quickly turned to tears. Who held the phone while I hyperventilated. And asked if I was okay after. The ones who stuck around when I got quiet and lonely, and never once told me I was crazy – even if I probably was a few times. The kind of friends who let me get mad at them, because they were there, instead of the people who deserved it. The kind of friends who were patient. The kind of friends who answered my texts at 3 a.m. when I drank too much, but still couldn’t sleep. The ones who hopped on planes all over the U.S. so I could run a little bit – so the spaces in my heart could fill themselves.

And with each birthday I come to the same conclusion –

I’m just so lucky.

And with that – all of the emotions that made up the last 363 days.

Tim McGraw – Highway Don’t Care

The Damnwells – Dandelion
Taylor Swift – Long Live
The Rebecca West – Firefly
Kacey Musgraves – Merry Go ‘Round
Iron & Wine – Walking Far From Home
Justin Timberlake – Mirrors
Miley Cyrus – We Can’t Stop
The Damnwells – Jesus Could Be Right
The Damnwells – I Will Keep The Bad Things From You
The Damnwells – I Am a Leaver
Taylor Swift – Everything Has Changed
Taylor Swift – Holy Ground
Taylor Swift – 22
Taylor Swift – Treacherous
Taylor Swift – Dear John
Taylor Swift – Forever & Always
Taylor Swift – Fifteen
Sean McConnell – Lie Baby Lie
Sean McConnell – Tell the Truth
Sean McConnell – A Prayer You Can Borrow
Sean McConnell – I Didn’t Want to Love You Anyway
Justin Timberlake – Cry Me a River
Justin Timberlake – Señorita
Justin Timberlake – My Love – Main Version – Clean
Katy Perry – Not Like The Movies
David Ramirez – The Forgiven
David Ramirez – Find the Light
David Ramirez – Stick Around
John Mayer – On The Way Home
John Mayer – I Will Be Found (Lost At Sea)
John Mayer – Paper Doll
John Mayer – Waitin’ On The Day
John Mayer – Who You Love
Lorde – Royals
John Mayer – The Age of Worry
Gary Allan – Pieces
Gavin DeGraw – Best I Ever Had
Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
Eli Young Band – Drunk Last Night
Drake – Hold On, We’re Going Home
Sean McConnell – Looking For A Good Time
Cyndi Thomson – I Always Liked That Best
Cyndi Thomson – What I Really Meant To Say
Keith Urban – We Were Us
Sean McConnell – Midland
Lori McKenna – Fireflies
Jamie Lynn Spears – How Could I Want More
Brad Paisley – Then (Piano Mix)
Brad Paisley – She’s Everything
The Damnwells – Golden Days
David Nail – Whatever She’s Got
One Direction – Story of My Life
Lorde – Team
Dierks Bentley – I Hold On
Matt Hires – All That’s Left Is You
Chris Cagle – I Breathe In, I Breathe Out
Kenny Chesney – Anything But Mine
Taylor Swift – Last Kiss
Taylor Swift – Mean
Taylor Swift – Mine
Jessica Andrews – There’s More To Me Than You
Jessica Andrews – Who I Am
Miley Cyrus – Adore You
Alex Dezen – None of These Things
Taylor Swift – Sweeter Than Fiction – From “One Chance” Soundtrack
Katy Perry – By The Grace Of God
The Gaslight Anthem – Misery
Brad Paisley – Time Well Wasted
Dierks Bentley – Hurt Somebody
Dierks Bentley – Riser
Dierks Bentley – Bourbon In Kentucky
Radney Foster – Texas In 1880 (Bonus Track)
Turnpike Troubadours – Diamonds & Gasoline