“…but I know I’ll never see you again.
The Santa Ana’s blowing in the lullaby at dawn, same one I’ve been listening to all night,
I’ll wake up in them same place tomorrow and you’ll be gone, and there won’t even be a fight.
There are train lines, there are bus rides, that will take you back and forth from bad to better lives
There are love songs, there are desperate lies,
But none of those things will keep you here, ’cause none of these things will make you love me.”
This afternoon, I drove down the highway going 80 with the window down and a ballad blaring. My soul felt full. The 40-degree air whipped through my hair, a smile appeared and my heart overflowed. I couldn’t imagine a moment that felt more perfect.
Life couldn’t get any better, if just for that small moment where everything made sense. Mostly because it didn’t. It rarely does, and I guess that’s why I find it so beautiful. It might’ve been the song. It’s beautiful.You can buy it here. It’s called “None of These Things.” It might just be because life is good lately. I feel loved, wanted, appreciated and in some cases, needed. Confused by it all and what I mean to most everyone, but happy to be confused. Excited to know what’s on the horizon, if only because I have no idea what’s up next.
I hope everyone has something that makes them feel that way. For me, it’s words and the way they sometimes sound together – the way they can rip into me and also create so much joy in the exact same moment. The way they can remind me of really awful times and also make me thankful they’re over. The way they can make me miss, to the very core of my being, something I don’t have.
And I hope everyone has something that makes them feel so incredibly alive like I did. It’s a shame not to notice it.