Going into the new year, I’d like to be aware of everything about me that doesn’t make sense. All of the things that make me sometimes difficult – as almost everyone sometimes can be. Maybe I’ll work on them, maybe I won’t. But at least I’ll go into the new year with some self awareness.
1. I have to eat in a straight line. I sometimes forget what my dinner companion is saying because I’m so focused on making sure things are in a line.
2. I generally dislike most technology – I feel it takes away from so many amazing parts of humans that we only get by seeing one another – funny facial expressions, meaningful glances, freckles that burn themselves in a mental picture forever. But I pick up my phone the moment I feel awkward.
3. I don’t care about money. I’d rather have experiences. But I like to buy nice things.
4. I run away from things when I feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable sometimes means happy.
5. Feelings make me anxious – too many of them, at least. Because with the good comes the bad, and if it’s too good, doesn’t that mean it could also be very bad?
6. I plan to a degree that would frustrate most people, but it’s only because I try to make everyone happy.
7. I spend probably 70 percent of my life daydreaming. I need to be more present, but sometimes it gets away from me.
8. When someone expresses even slight anger toward me, I shut down. Remember that whole thing about feelings making me uncomfortable?
9. I don’t consider myself vain, but I spend a good amount of time on my hair.
10. I am so very awkward.
The reality is this is me – even though some of it doesn’t make always add up. But I guess everyone doesn’t make sense from time to time. I guess that’s kind of life?